JETHRO TULL - The Christmas Album

I'm sprinkling ashes on my head. I bought it. I didn't want to, but I bought it. They'd already sold out the opera omnia of Oneida.

I was uselessly looking for a nice record full of super-clever noises, bestial screams, buzzing, out-of-tune and depressed singers, cacophonous dissonances, burps and other artistic bodily sounds, and suddenly it appeared before me. I'm not purified enough yet and I bought it. But I know how to make amends. I'll savage it mercilessly, I'll give it 3, no, 2. You'll be proud of me. It'll be a catharsis.

What an idea, then, a Christmas record made up of new tracks, rearrangements of old ones, and traditionals. That's what Bing Crosby, Rita Pavone and Andrea Bocelli do. Then the photos. Terrible. I've seen younger-looking people in geriatric wards, and I fear Ian Anderson has had a lift. Yes, I'll have no mercy for pensioner rockers.

It opens with "Birthday Card At Christmas", a new track, brisk tempo with the usual flute breaks, the voice sounds intact, I'm tapping along but I won't let myself be charmed. "Holy Herald" combines an English traditional with a piece by Mendelssohn, it feels like being at a village fair. They sure do play well, though. But what am I thinking. Then two old tracks ("A Christmas Song" and "Another Christmas Song"), with arrangements barely altered from the originals. Pathetic, not even a hint of noise-rock spontaneity. And they don't deconstruct anything, and these days if you don't deconstruct a bit you're nobody. Next comes another traditional, "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen", the jazzed-up arrangement is really not bad, does it matter if I give it 2 or 1.5?

"Jack Frost And The Hooded Crow" and "Last Man On The Party" are two new folk-rock tracks, they sound like two outtakes from "Heavy Horses" or "Song From The Wood", stuff I've heard a hundred times. So why do I find myself singing along and turning up the stereo? Maybe I'm not purified enough?

"Weathercock" is an old track rearranged (from "Heavy Horses", in fact). I'm having bad thoughts. I'm thinking that Radiohead couldn't write a track like this even if they locked themselves in a studio for a century. But forgive me, it's not me thinking it, it's as if I'm sometimes possessed by a reactionary little demon. Next comes "Pavane", a reworking of a classical piece by Fauré. Let's make it 3, a round number? "First Snow On Brooklin" is a new track, lyrical and romantic with a lovely, engaging melody. A disgrace, in short. But they haven't understood a thing! Why don't they repeat the same basic chord for 38 minutes until exhaustion? Why am I not bored to death? Let's say I give it 4?

Scandalized, let's move on to another traditional, "Greensleeves": it's true the flute is by now a stale cliché, but for two and a half minutes the instruments and notes seem to dance; 5 seems more fitting. "Fire At Midnight", taken from "Songs From The Wood", nothing special, neither the '77 version nor this one, but you hear the melodic line once and you never forget it. Let's make it 5.5, otherwise it looks like I'm doing it on purpose.

"We Five King" is a folk traditional that leaves no mark, but the central acoustic and piano section is lovely. "Ring Out Solstice Bells" is a slowed-down (too much?) and uglified version of a track from "Songs From The Wood". Then, my friends, the apotheosis of mustiness. Yes, that one, "Bourée". I'm overwhelmed by the sheer old-fogeyness. But the new arrangement isn't half bad, after all. It closes with Martin Barre's "A Winter Snowscape", basically an acoustic guitar/flute duet. I'm almost tempted to give it a 6. And maybe even join the fan club. Forgive me, it's the little demon writing, not me.

Ride the wave of great music

Add OndaRock to your favorite sources on Google Discover. Don't miss our reviews, milestones and latest news straight in your feed.

Follow on Google

28/10/2006