Last night a Mixtape saved my life

The first things that she took from me were selfishness and sleep

She broke a thousand heirlooms I was never meant to keep

She filled my life with color, cancelled plans and trashed my car

But none of that is ever who we are

(from "The Mother" by Brandi Carlile)

If there's one experience truly worth the infamous English expression life-changing, it's becoming a parent. It's a change so overwhelming and brutal, one that touches so many spheres of life and stirs up so many feelings and instincts, that it's almost impossible to grasp without going through it yourself. So much so that when a parent tries to explain it to someone who isn't one yet (or never will be), they'll surely get a knowing nod, but rarely genuine, sincere understanding. I myself often pretended to get it, while secretly thinking "come on, how hard can it really be... they're so dramatic about it."

Then it happened to me twice in the space of a pandemic – okay, maybe we overdid it a little – and my world came crashing down. A world of stolen personal space, sleep deprivation, drool-stained sweaters, mustard-colored poop, doubts, fears, a paralyzing sense of responsibility, a feral protective instinct, and smiles capable of lighting up even the darkest moment. Love like I'd never felt before.

It goes without saying that today I can fully understand why becoming a parent has inspired so many songwriters, across every genre, era and generation. Because, quite simply, it's an experience that changes literally everything.

This collection of twenty songs of mine, which could easily have run to two hundred, opens with what is probably the most famous song ever written for a daughter, namely "Isn't She Lovely" by Stevie Wonder. Right after it comes the one David Bowie dedicated to his own child, "Kooks", along with a few more or less classic picks ranging from John Martyn to Paul Simon, from Ben Folds to Brandi Carlile. All united by that unstoppable mix of joy and bewilderment that comes with the arrival of a little one.

Then there's the case of little Blue Ivy, who has not one but two famous parents, and so ends up celebrated and sampled by both Beyoncé and Jay Z. Staying in black music territory, you'll find the wonderful "To Zion", included by Lauryn Hill on her masterpiece and delightfully spiced up by Carlos Santana's guitar arpeggios; while former Maccabees frontman Orlando Weeks paints, like an impressionist, a new, muffled everyday life made of tiny whimpers and milk breath ("Milk Breath").

The share of mind-numbing exhaustion and dark circles under the eyes is represented by that joker Kurt Vile, who sounds like he's singing "Too Hard" sprawled out on the couch, drained after an intense day of diaper changes and rocking a baby to sleep. "My Son Cool" by Guided By Voices is charged with an entirely different kind of energy, with Robert Pollard pumping out huge riffs and nailing the role of rockstar dad.

Most of the emotions that come with becoming a parent are hard to put into words - they resemble a whirl of fireworks more than a written page, or the psychedelic electronics of "My Girls" by Animal Collective, which Noah Lennox dedicated to his wife and daughter and to the swirl of emotions he feels seeing them together. "Holly Up On Poppy" by Xtc is animated by that same sense of wonder, with Partridge, true to the title, writing and singing about the marvel of watching his little daughter Holly ride her toy horse Poppy.

For many new parents, perhaps for all of them, it's inevitable to approach this new role by coming to terms with their own parents. That's what happens to Kanye West in "Only One", dedicated to little Nori but sung from the point of view of his recently deceased mother, Donda. In short, the usual psychiatric case study, but as often happens with him, a brilliant one. And then there are Paul McCartney's coos and murmurs, which alone would be worth the price of admission.

We approach the end of the playlist with "Mouths Cradle", Bjork's vividly imaginative song about breastfeeding and motherhood, and "Sail To The Moon", a sweet yet unsettling lullaby Thom Yorke dedicated to his son Noah, alongside the rest of Radiohead.

The selection closes with four songs that stir up every new parent's worst nightmares: the fear of not being up to the role, the fear of not being able to give their children a decent life, and of course, the fear of outliving their own offspring. Wildly different but equally heart-wrenching, "Tears In Heaven" by Eric Clapton and "Ghosteen" by Nick Cave are two painful reckonings with an inextinguishable grief; while "June" by Idles finds new post-punk standard-bearer Joe Talbot recalling the terrible experience of his wife giving birth to a stillborn child (the refrain "Baby shoes for sale, never worn" really is the most gut-wrenching thing he's ever sung), and the far more famous "Little Green" shows Joni Mitchell grappling with the tragic decision, made under conditions of extreme poverty, to give her daughter up for adoption.

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10/12/2025